Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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