When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
