I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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