and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
