I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dignity is for republicans.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
