TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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