She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
