i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
