Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
there was a trapeze. enough said
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
