I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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