piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I died a long time ago.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
