For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
