Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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