We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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