is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
