I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My vagina just recognized that song.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
