you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Randomize
