in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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