And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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