Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
