The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
