Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
