this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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