Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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