Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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