you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
