I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
