It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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