Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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