i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dick very happy bro
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
