:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
