In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
