Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
