I need help removing her.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
