You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i permit you to call me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
