im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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