Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
