So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
