Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
