Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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