Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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