He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
