At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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