I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
