do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
