Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
