Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
