Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
