Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
