i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The air taste purple.
Randomize
