After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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